The 9 best twists in PC games

Hello, this is the goblin list. Every month I bring fun lists to share. My hideous goblin features and my desperate hunger for SEO crumbs hide a generous heart. People don’t expect kindness from a creature like me. But life is full of twists and turns, and so are video games.

Remember when BioShock pulled the rug under you so hard you broke your head on the wet tiles? Do you remember when the dragon scales fell from your eyes during The Elder Scrolls: Skyrim? Here are the 10 best twists in PC games. (I limited it to games that are at least two years old, but don’t be sad if you read spoilers.)

Assassin’s Error – The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion

There is a series of quests in Oblivion in which you join the Dark Brotherhood, a league of fearsome assassins. Your handler, a scurrilous ghost called Lucien Lechance, leaves you notes in dead ends, telling you your next target. But after a few smooth kills, you’re accosted in the street by your death daddy, panicked and furious. You killed the leaders of your own organization, you idiot! The intelligence of this is that the first contracts are genuine. When it comes to twists, doing things authentically a few times serves to lull your brand into a false sense of security.

Would You – BioShock

BioShock’s late-game turnaround is fondly remembered and the result is the most violent mini-golf game in FPS history. Turns out Atlas, the family man with the friendly brogue who guided you through the game as a classic radio voiceover, is actually the elusive villain Fontaine. And he commanded your every move with the control phrase “would you kindly”. I still don’t know how 2K managed to hypnotize all players in 2007. Player manipulation has evolved a lot since then. But it was impressive technology for the time.

The Truth of War – Spec Ops: The Line

You spend a lot of time shooting your fellow human beings in this third-person Dubai, just a regular video game day taking down soldiers who have gone rogue in a collapsing city full of sand and gunfire. fire. But stick with judicious ball administration and you’ll be hit by the mother of all curve balls. It turns out that this war is actually pretty bad, and based on some of the emotions aroused by a scene in which white phosphorus is used to kill civilians, it turns out that maybe ANY war is bad. It is an intriguing, subtly seeded doubt.

Jester – Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain

Metal Gear Solid games have always had strange antagonists to fight, but Jester came as a huge surprise even to seasoned experts of classic Kojima villains. Later in this stealth game, it is revealed that all high-level geopolitical decisions are directed by a resplendent jester wearing a militarized but still recognizable medieval garb. Voiced by German actor Christoph Waltz, he soon emerges as a disappointing boss, juggling sausages, beer and hand grenades, laughing and shouting nonsense like “a wurst for thurst, first is the worst” , as he throws these items at you. .

This is not your house! – Gone home

Some of us know the intense embarrassment of spacing out on the way home and realizing as you struggle to insert your key into the lock (why doesn’t it fit?) that in fact, oh no, it’s not your front door. Hold on to that feeling of setback for a while. Gone Home is a game about returning home to the suburbs after a long absence. But the house is empty. As you flip through your old belongings, knock over cans of “Ape Rule Fuel” in the garage, and gaze lovingly at photos of your family, you begin to have some doubts. Has your father always had a mustache? Did they remodel the kitchen? It all comes to a head when you reach the loft and realize, hang in there. This isn’t your spooky multi-million dollar mansion! Your mansion has corpses in the attic! How mortifying. You better leave.

The Real Killer – Return of the Obra Dinn

Scurvy. Old scurvy killed the whole crew, who would have thought? The sailors just didn’t have enough lemons. Excellent twist.

A Seasonal Reveal – The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim

As you climb High Hrothgar to talk to the CEO of Dragons, fight blizzards and frost trolls to reach the icy summit, you don’t necessarily expect the great batlizard to tell you, in fact, it’s spring. This is what Springtime looks like in Skyrim. Isn’t it weird? You file it in your head as you traverse the rest of the RPG, smelting ore, marrying, and burping loudly against Imperial Legionnaires, the snow never abating. And then the real winter comes. Or “Megawinter” as it’s called in Elder Scrolls lore. Many reviewers complained about the game’s climactic moments, in which you are forced to eat your own children and wife to survive, eventually becoming the vaulted “Dragon of Whiterun” feared by neighborhood kids and parents. Bethesda changed the ending after public outcry, setting the precedent that would be used years later when Mass Effect 3 players were also upset by Commander Shepard, who also committed family cannibalism.

You are an Orc – Middle-earth: Shadow of Mordor

It was such a shock. You have always been an orc. That explains why you could be such good friends with all of them. However, you know what they say: “better an orc than a… goblin”. A goblin… Hmm. Leprechaun. Lists. Something is wrong… something is wrong here…

The Goblin’s True Identity – Rock Paper Shotgun

“This month’s list is weird,” you think. ” What the hell is happening ? And then it comes to you all of a sudden, like a frying pan on your head. You see the clues now. God, it was so clear! A jester in Metal Gear Solid V? Skyrim in Spring!? You don’t remember any of this… You return to the top of the article, your heart racing with adrenaline as revealing music surrounds you from an unknown source. You scroll past the clues, glaring now (Ape Rule Fuel???). The voice of Christoph Waltz resounds in your head. “A wurst for the thurst, the first is the worst!”. You speak the words out loud, the red strings in your brain putting it all together. You feel like you’ve been through this moment before, a part of you has always known it. You scroll up and scroll up and see it there, next to the signature of the offending article. Your suspicions confirmed, your life shattered.

April 1st.

It was all a lie. You hear the distant laughter of a goblin, long gone, impossible to find. Not the creature of lists you know and cherish. But another monstrosity altogether, that filthy thing, lord of the shitpost. That’s not the List Goblin’s job. It was…

The Goblin Twist.

One Off The List of…Little NPCs Gone Big

Last time we collected 9 minor NPCs who became major characters. But one of them has strayed too far from his lane. His… Dr. Kleiner from Half-Life 2.

“I would say Kleiner should be removed,” says digital human purger “Saravis” with cold logic. “While the roles of Eli and Barney become more important to the story, Kleiner’s is pretty much the same since the first game. He’s still just a secondary character that you cross paths with, he opens up doors and tells you to go somewhere.”

Release the man-hacks. Judgment has been rendered. I’ll see you all next time, goblin fans. I promise to be reasonable.

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